Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Why do trans people get so deeply offended when a stranger misgenders them, especially when it's a first encounter? I've been socially transitioned for 4 years and it just feels like a waste of energy to be so hurt by it.

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I see through liars

Nintendo Switch 2 races to record sales, driven by Mario Kart World's blockbuster debut - ABC News

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Do women really cheat more than men?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

What have I done wrong? How can I start over?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I can read

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Who writes and reads novels nowadays?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I actually pay taxes

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Europe stock markets open lower; FTSE 100 choppy after UK economy shrinks more than expected - CNBC

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

What does it feel like wearing tights?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I can count

How can we worship Shri Krishna at home? Is it enough to install an idol, or are there other rituals that are mandatory?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have complete contempt for fakery

How do I overcome attachment issues?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Why doesn't speeding significantly decrease one’s commute time? I've done a lot of road trips and driving and have experimented by increasing speed by 10–20%, but somehow this never equates to arriving 20% sooner, even on clear roads.

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”